6 adventure films that you should dig (up)!

You don’t need an old tattered map, a magic compass, or even a mystic light beam emitted from the Eye of Ra to find em! All you need is a TV, and a face (for all the joy you’ll be expressing)!

Let the couch-ventures begin…



6) Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Sure it feels like a non-interactive full motion video PC game from the mid-nineties…but there’s alot of great stuff here…giant robots stolen directly from Max Fleisher’s Superman cartoons…strange beasts encountered on an island that could’ve been stolen directly from the original King Kong…Sir Laurence Olivier stolen directly from the grave! Plus, it has a bad guy named Dr. Totenkof!



5) Congo
It’s not set in the 1930s, but this thing is pure B-Movie! Killer gorillas, giant laser guns powered by diamonds, animatronic hippo attacks, eyeballs getting thrown at Bruce Campbell, Tim Curry saying things strangely…what’s not to love?
Oh, what’s that… it doesn’t have a pulpy central hero character like the other movies on this list? Well then, what the hell’s AMY THE TALKING GORILLA to ya? Do all your heroes have to have whips and fedoras, and hairless bodies, and walk upright? It’s because she’s a female isn’t it? Your a real piece of work, you know that?



4) The Rocketeer
Uh…rocket packs and Jennifer Connelly pre-breast reduction…’nuff said! Just think of it as a steam-punk version of Iron Man 2 (Yea, I’ve been reading your fan fiction)!


3) The Librarian
I’m so certain of this TNT original’s ability to delight even the most cold-hearted of humans that I would use it in place of the Voigt-Kampf test (BAM!)! Noah Wyle is great as the likable nerd (a huge departure from his usual role as an unlikable nerd)…and who dosen’t wanna see a tremendously old Bob Newheart spend his last remaining moments on earth playing a magic former navy-seal?


2) The Phantom
B-Zane is one fantastically dopey lead, and don’t even get me started on Sir Treat Williams’ enjoyably over-the-top shenanigans. Not to mention the expert direction of the man that gave us both Operation Dumbo Drop AND Crocadile Dundee in Los Angeleas! …but the thing this movie really has going for it… It’s ridiculously broad and inaproppriate tagline: “Slam Evil” (did somebody tell the marketing department that “Rowdy” Roddy Piper was the star of this thing?)


1) The Shadow
It takes all the best elements from its source material! It stars a skinny Alec Baldwin in the lead role! It features a magic knife that can BITE YOUR FACE OFF! Not to mention it’s the exact same movie as Batman Begins (but pre-dates it by 11 years!) There are some differences though: Batman didn’t stay in Asia and rule as an opium-smuggling, ghengis khan-esque leader. Nor is his main weapon a pair of HUGE HAND GUNS…nah, Bats ain’t got the chutzpah…plus he can’t become invisible and mind-rape Tim Curry into overacting himself to death!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: